He Is Faithful

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Lately I have been hearing of so many people hurting and so many who are in despair.  Looking back on my journey to where I am today, although filled with despair at times, I remember all of the blessings.  God has been so faithful in my life and in my son's life.  It is hard to see blessings during hard times but it is important to remember and be thankful of all things, not just the good.   One time in particular has me praising God daily for how he pulled me out of the seemingly “pit” and made me new so that I could live for His purpose here on earth. 

In October 2010, I had really hurt my back through numerous falls, wrong moves, and outside circumstances that landed me incapable of taking care of myself for almost 2 months.   An MRI was performed and through the generous help of family and friends I was able to get the care I needed and have recovered to about 90% to date.
 

During this time of recovery the MRI results had come in.  I had a bulged disc that was sitting on my nerves and was causing the pain.   This is actually really common for people to have after trauma to the back.  Then came the observation that changed me forever. There were spots found in my uterus; spots that needed to be checked out immediately.

I made the appointment with fear and proceeded to have the ultrasound.  The doctor explained that I had 3 masses on my uterus and that she was unsure if they were anything to be nervous about at that point.  I really don’t remember much she said after that first sentence to be honest.   I immediately went to the worst possible scenario in my mind.  Could this be the beginning of my battle with cancer?   I made a follow up appointment for 1 month later, called my mom and we prayed.   I have no doubt that my parents prayed daily for my follow up appointment to show no growth in the masses and for what God would do with this situation.  My parents have always been the first to show me that God is in control and that everything is orchestrated by Him and for His purpose.   This was my time to prove to God that I truly believed that too. I am not sure I passed that test because as a single parent, the idea of Bradley not having a mom around, or that I would be too sick to care for him just flooded my worry.  It is very easy to let your mind entertain these thoughts when you are the sole caretaker of a helpless child.

The month crawled by but my follow up appointment proved to be very different from the first.   After the ultrasound, the doctor came into the room and said that she really couldn’t explain the results, but that the masses had completely disappeared! It is not often I find myself in a loss for words, but the feeling of relief, answered prayer, and renewed hope flooded my emotions! I could hardly contain myself and couldn’t get out of there quick enough to call my mom and share the news! 

God had healed me! I still am not sure what those masses were, but it doesn’t matter because God had the entire situation under control.  God allowed my back to crumble, so he could show me a miracle!  Without one I wouldn’t have found the other.   Was I praising God during my back pain? Did I trust Him during the month of uncertainty? Surely not the way I should have been.  God showed me through this experience that although the world seems to be falling down around us, He is there.  He is faithful and in His timing everything will be okay.   Words that a single parent needs to hear daily: It will be okay. 

Are you struggling to trust God in your situation? What ways has God shown His love for you and control over your circumstance?