“Just let go Meg, I’ve got this!” Those words ring over and over in my head daily as I read scripture and pray with God. If I clearly obtain this phrase in my head each time I dive into God’s Word, why then is it so hard for me to simply do that…let go?
If you are like me, you have been hurt and possibly even hurt beyond measure. Things or people you once trusted proved to be untrustworthy. Situations and your life goals completely did a “one-eighty” on you when it was determined you were going to be a single parent. I do not know what has gotten you to the place you are now, but I do understand the pain and the frustration that goes along with it. I want to write specifically to the issues of trust and control.
It is a very easy transition that happens within the moments of finding out your life is going to be changed forever. Maybe you were encountering a divorce, maybe you became pregnant outside of wedlock, or maybe you encountered the death of a spouse. Whatever brought you to the situation you now find yourself in, quite possibly you found yourself facing trust and control issues.
For me, losing a husband because of abuse, neglect, and outside relationships had caused me to shut down in the trust department. At the same time, I lost a lot of friends due to judgment and early on I felt I couldn’t even trust my family to stand behind my decision. I easily became a skeptic of anyone trying to become a part of my life or my son’s life. I had to be shown that I could trust someone before I did. I also began controlling every aspect of my life. I put up a wall to my emotions and fears and just did what I had to do to survive. Can you relate to this?
It is a constant struggle to let my guard down and trust God to do wonderful things in our lives. I often find myself in situations wondering where God’s answer is and then BAM! I realize that I am holding the reigns and I haven’t fully let go of my grip. Thankfully, God understands and God graciously forgives. Won’t you join me in daily letting go of the reigns of this life so that God can do miraculous things?!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
– Proverbs 3:5-6