Kids Need To Be Kids

It is an easy place I see single parents cozy up to.  Specifically I see it in single moms.  It's an easy place to go to and it's comfortable for us...for now.  So it makes it okay? Not at all.

What am I talking about? I am talking about kids who are forced to grow up quicker than they are mentally ready for or capable of living productively.  Since I am a mom, I will focus on the single moms here for a second.  It's an easy trap to fall into.  You are alone in raising your children and you have an older sibling that can carry conversations and interact with you on an almost friendship level.  What do you do? You invite them into an adult world much earlier than they are ready.

In one particular instance this teenager I know who has lived with his mom his entire childhood is now living with his dad, who is my close friend.  His dad is up in arms at the things he has been privy to.  He has already seen rated R movies and pornography.  He feels he runs the show because back at home with his mom, he does.  He asks questions prying into the personal life, finances and decisions that his dad makes.  He has absolutely no respect for women and feels he is above rules.  Why? His mom made him "man of the house" with his other 5 siblings.  He runs the show back at home.  He calls the shots and decides what he will or will not watch, do or be a part of.  His brain is not developed enough to understand what he is putting himself through.  His protector (mom) is unavailable to help him as a growing child because she has already made him a man, long before he was ready.

This is wrong.  It is very wrong.  Children need to be children.  Teenagers need to be teenagers.  They should be thinking about the grades they are getting and who their friends are.  They should not be worried about the parental bills or most anything related to the adult world.  As a teenager ages, they will need to know more about the adult world but while they are young, let them be young.  They are not your friends, your stand-in partners in life.  They are children.  Let them be children.

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