A Heavenly Father Who Loves You

Often in this walk of “single-parenthood“ you stop and remember what got you here.  Sometimes it’s pure memories that flood our thoughts all of a sudden, or sometimes it’s almost regret for not trying harder.  For instance, tonight my son was able to have dinner with his dad after a week of not seeing him, which is a far cry from before when his dad would go months on end without spending time with him, but nevertheless a week seems like a long time to a child who wants their parent around.  When his dad brought him home there were tears.  Tears that reminded me of the tears I cried when I finally had my husband back just to have him leave again.  I remember those tears.  They were not always tears of sorrow but also tears of frustration.  Frustration that I wanted so badly to put into words but just couldn’t find the right way to say how I felt.   Honestly, watching my son’s tears made me angry but all the while, remembering that frustration.  The feelings flooded back and I just held my son as his dad said goodbye once again.  What a terrible feeling for my child to endure.  I can’t emphasize to him enough that I understand his pain and why he cries.  I can’t tell him that once upon a time I cried the exact same way for this man that he now calls “dad”.  I too wanted him to live with me and take care of me forever.  I too wanted him to hold me when life was tough and when he seemed to be the only person who would understand.  I understand, son.  I understand.

It took many sleepless nights and many growing pains for me to begin to heal from the feelings of abandonment and fortunately as an adult it happened a lot easier than it does of a child.  I vow every day to remember the pain my son is enduring NOW and make sure that I overflow the message of a heavenly father who loves him and who is greater than any earthly father could be.  

Prayer:  Thank you Jesus for giving us our children.  Thank you for creating a home for them that is secure in reliance on You.  You are the healer of hearts and I lift up all of the single-parent homes to your will and glory.  Heal and protect us from hurts and frustrations so that we may continue to grow in You.  Amen.