A Heavenly Father Who Loves You
Often in this walk of “single-parenthood“ you stop and remember what got you here. Sometimes it’s pure memories that flood our thoughts all of a sudden, or sometimes it’s almost regret for not trying harder. For instance, tonight my son was able to have dinner with his dad after a week of not seeing him, which is a far cry from before when his dad would go months on end without spending time with him, but nevertheless a week seems like a long time to a child who wants their parent around. When his dad brought him home there were tears. Tears that reminded me of the tears I cried when I finally had my husband back just to have him leave again. I remember those tears. They were not always tears of sorrow but also tears of frustration. Frustration that I wanted so badly to put into words but just couldn’t find the right way to say how I felt. Honestly, watching my son’s tears made me angry but all the while, remembering that frustration. The feelings flooded back and I just held my son as his dad said goodbye once again. What a terrible feeling for my child to endure. I can’t emphasize to him enough that I understand his pain and why he cries. I can’t tell him that once upon a time I cried the exact same way for this man that he now calls “dad”. I too wanted him to live with me and take care of me forever. I too wanted him to hold me when life was tough and when he seemed to be the only person who would understand. I understand, son. I understand.
It took many sleepless nights and many growing pains for me to begin to heal from the feelings of abandonment and fortunately as an adult it happened a lot easier than it does of a child. I vow every day to remember the pain my son is enduring NOW and make sure that I overflow the message of a heavenly father who loves him and who is greater than any earthly father could be.
Prayer: Thank you Jesus for giving us our children. Thank you for creating a home for them that is secure in reliance on You. You are the healer of hearts and I lift up all of the single-parent homes to your will and glory. Heal and protect us from hurts and frustrations so that we may continue to grow in You. Amen.