In order to be the financial provider of your home, you must
work full time and you must then work enough hours to pay for someone else to
watch your child while you work to pay them. Read that again…you have to work to pay someone else to
raise your child, while you work! The guilt that goes along with this is
excruciating! Even for someone who wants to work, you still feel guilt when you
pick up your child and you hear that they had a first happen that day.
Or what about the time when you picked up your son or daughter and heard
that they got hurt and someone else made them feel better? It is a rollercoaster
of emotions.
One side of the coin for me: I love working outside of the home each day because I have amazing co-workers who are also
like family. I am supported and I
am loved. I get to work towards
the Kingdom of God. I get to encounter Jesus daily in everything I do! I get to
leave my "day job" early enough to pick him up from school! I am
supporting my child.
Other side of the coin for me: I have to hurry my son through breakfast and morning rituals to get him out the door on time. I have to do the “walk of shame” as I like to call it as I stroll him into daycare where I give a quick kiss and hug goodbye and say, “be good today, I love you”. I get to wonder all day if his needs are being met and if he is missing me and wishing we were together. I work in anticipation for time when I get to pack up and head over to get him, just to find he’s had emotional struggles that day, or wasn’t given enough sunscreen and now is sunburnt, or “worse” yet…his day was FANTASTIC and I missed it.
Other side of the coin for me: I have to hurry my son through breakfast and morning rituals to get him out the door on time. I have to do the “walk of shame” as I like to call it as I stroll him into daycare where I give a quick kiss and hug goodbye and say, “be good today, I love you”. I get to wonder all day if his needs are being met and if he is missing me and wishing we were together. I work in anticipation for time when I get to pack up and head over to get him, just to find he’s had emotional struggles that day, or wasn’t given enough sunscreen and now is sunburnt, or “worse” yet…his day was FANTASTIC and I missed it.
The reasons on either side of the coin are endless for me but the
majority seems to lie in the negative. Maybe you don't love your job and so even being in such a place of employment is heart wrenching for you as well. Maybe you can add "travel" into the mix of reasons you have to be away. All of these reasons create this
emotional up and down syndrome that can really wear on your guilt and your
mental well-being. Let’s take a
look at what the bible says about this.
For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD, “
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:10-12 NIV
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:10-12 NIV
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for loving us so much that you would give the ultimate sacrifice so that we may raise our children to know you and recognize your love for them. Help us to lean on your promise of hope and of a future for us and our children. I pray that each person reading this will be shown little glimpses of your heavenly plan. That we would encounter you daily and that we would be able to see you in all we do. Lord, please give us strength to get through the days that are pressed with guilt and burdens. We trust you in all we do and trust in your promise. Protect our children as we are away.
In Your Name, Amen.
Thank you for loving us so much that you would give the ultimate sacrifice so that we may raise our children to know you and recognize your love for them. Help us to lean on your promise of hope and of a future for us and our children. I pray that each person reading this will be shown little glimpses of your heavenly plan. That we would encounter you daily and that we would be able to see you in all we do. Lord, please give us strength to get through the days that are pressed with guilt and burdens. We trust you in all we do and trust in your promise. Protect our children as we are away.
In Your Name, Amen.
Thank you for what you are doing. I have been a single mom for 2 years now. I have 2 boys, 4 yrs old and 3 yrs old! God has been our sufficence these last couple of years. He is so good!! Things are rough a lot of the time and it is a comfort to know that we are not alone. God is always with us and He even shows us others who are facing the same challenges so that we can be a comfort to one another! :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you Vicki! Yes, this journey is rough but I am glad you can find comfort in hearing from others and it brings me comfort to hear from you! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI am really glad I found your blog. Every time I read it I see something I am dealing with or have dealt with. I have a 7 year old daughter and she has been In daycare since she was 2. Now she is in the second grade she goes to the after school program. I hate that I can't come to the parties at school all the time like some parents. I am grateful that God did give me wonderful people to work with who understand that I am a single parent and when she is sick Mommy is the only one who can make her feel better. Thank you for your blogs, I look forward to reading them.
ReplyDeleteOh the parties...yes that is one I know of very well too and it is very heartbreaking! I am very glad you have an understanding work environment as that is such a blessing! Thank you for sharing your story in transparency! Blessings to you and your daughter. :)
DeleteCan someone help me with this one? Why does it hurt so deeply when you hear or read others comments about how much they love their husband or talk about how wonderful he is.....when your world has been shattered by your own?
ReplyDeleteHi Angelbaby,
DeleteI am not sure there is a cut and dry answer for that question. Each of us have endured our own type of pain through our experiences. In my opinion, the hurt comes from your desire to have what they have. Your regret that you ended up in a bad situation that didn't seem fair. Remember too that every couple has their ups and downs and deals with their own problems. Just because someone looks happy doesn't mean they are. Still pray for them, and I have found that praying for a seemingly or genuinely happy couple helped me to finally get to a point where I could honestly be happy for them. I am thankful to God that there are still great examples of being loving husbands and loving wives out there for our children to learn from.
It is hard to know why we were the ones who were placed in these situations, but there are many blessings to be had even in a single parent environment. Find your support system with friends or family members and cherish every moment with your kids. Be still and let God embrace you as you travel this journey.
Thank you for posting this question and hopefully others answer as well!
How did you overcome that guilt of having to leave your child at a daycare while you went to work? I'm worried that I'll have to follow that same path, though I would love to be a stay-at-home mom. My husband is still in school though and I think I'll have to have something to help support us while he's doing that. http://www.donnaddavis.com/overcome-guilt/
ReplyDeleteHollie, I never truly did overcome that guilt to be honest. It lessened when I realized that God loves my son more than I do and that my child could still have great experiences even in daycare. He was creating bonds with people that would help influence him and my job was to make sure they were good influences. I wish you the best of luck!
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