But... I'm Not Good Enough

"But, I'm not good enough." 

Have you ever said those words to yourself? I know I have numerous times.  Right after my divorce those words probably met me at every new turn and challenge.  Up until that point I had felt that I was a great woman, great wife, great mother, great friend, great daughter...etc.  You name it and I felt fairly confident in everything that I set my mind to accomplish.

Divorce has a way of knocking you off of your "confidence ladder" and requiring you to begin climbing back up, one step at a time.  It's probably one of the most difficult things you will ever do as a woman or man who has had their life turned upside down and was told through actions and words that "you aren't good enough."

Some single parents do not know this feeling exactly through divorce, but have been told by others that they aren't good enough because they choose to parent alone or were left to parent alone.  The feeling is very similar.

Even now I catch myself thinking that dreaded phrase, "I am not good enough, but after some time of dealing with this struggle, I've been able to learn how to stop myself and remember that no one is distant from this feeling. We are all in the same boat of just hanging on to hope for a better future and for better days when our suffering and trials are over.  Sure, some get to live in what could be called the "ideal life" and are seemingly very good enough, however truth be told, we all feel that the insecurity of not being enough for someone or something at one point or another.

What has helped me when that feeling creeps in and brings me down, is to analyze it.  Why am I feeling like I'm not good enough? Why am I feeling depressed over this?  What is the trigger that has caused this emotion? Is it because of what others are saying about me, what my ex thinks of me, how my kids are treating me?  Once you figure out the trigger, it's easier to find a way out of that feeling.

Remember what the scripture says:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 
who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 NIV


  1. ‘Divorce has a way of knocking you off of your "confidence ladder"…’ - I agree. Divorce can be quite a nightmare, what with all the long procedures and memories it bring up. It can really knock your confidence down, that you'll think there’s no hope for you. But everything has an end, and once you cope up with it and move on, it’s a total victory! And this will be easier if you’re surrounded with the right people. Thanks for sharing.


  2. Being a single parent doesn’t mean that you are not good enough to be a better person. In fact, you are better than the best. You are devoting yourself to raise your kids, attend to their needs, and give them the bright future without asking help from anyone. From that fact alone, you are truly a champion.

    Carlos Strey @ The Bridge Across