We Are Not A Broken Home

I despise the phrase "Broken Home".  It just simply causes a stir in my soul.  It is common for people to use this phrase when referring to a single parent home, however this causes pain.  For the child who clearly is not at fault for their living situation, whether divorce, death, or an unwed mother, these kids pay a price already.  Using that phrase confirms to them that they are indeed broken.  Broken home?  Why can't it be "different" yet remain unbroken?

Raising kids today is an enormous task whether you are in a two parent home or a single parent home.  Single parents can raise great kids too and if adults would realize that and change our attitudes, we can show compassion and sensitivity to those in a different situation. 

My home was much more "broken" while we lived in a two parent household. I believe that there are many two-parent households that are like mine was.  They are very broken and yet are not called broken because they remain together visually.  The ideal situation of course is two parents who love each other and are healthy individuals raising their children together.  Unfortunately, without choice some of us do not live in that ideal.  We do not have to succumb to the term "broken".  Now, my son reads scripture, is thriving, and has blossomed into a great kid!  My son's dad is growing into a positive father-figure slowly but surely.  He was a lousy husband and without going into detail on our marital issues, he chose to leave our marriage.  I want my son to feel that his life can be complete no matter what the living situation because he finds his completeness in Christ.  He should not be finding his completeness in someone saying that he is not in a broken home.  How much harder do we make it for our kids when we keep reiterating that their situation is broken?

In a way, aren't we all broken to some degree.  What makes a single parent home any more broken from sin than another living situation?


  1. i see what you are saying, and yes we are all broken. there are probably some single parent families that are more healthy than families that have both parents together and vice versa. i dont like the label either. for us, i dont think my kids think of it that way, most everyone they know is a child of either divorce or parents never married. its the sad fact of the way it is today. i dont think they feel different or judged for it. but for me personally i still feel tremendous shame and guilt because my divorce was largely my fault. i took actions that resulted in divorce. although i did not know Christ at the time, i know i am forgiven and yet at times i have a lingering guilt. this is what i am in the process of letting go of right now. i too came from a home with 2 parents that was extremely broken until my father finally left when i was 13. i never felt like i measured up to my parents expectations, i just wasnt acceptable, or worthy of receiving love. those were the lies of the enemy planted at such a young age. as my boys grow i realize more and more that i am trying to control their feelings, their experiences. i have prayed controlling and maniuplative prayers. i havent yet completely submitted my children to God 100%. i start to, then pull back. But i know that largely letting go of the idea that if we are divorced, the kids will not feel loved is something i need to do. I pray the holy spirit will continue to reveal to me the areas i still need healing so i can stop projecting my childhood onto my children. they are having a completely different experience than me. They are learning Gods ways, they have a praying mom, they attend to church every other week...all these things are different for them. in some ways, i hope they realize sooner than later that they are broken, & they need God. i pray they reach that desperation for him earlier in life than i did. somehow accepting that brokenness, and submitting to God all parts of ourselves is key to living the awesome life he has for us.

    1. There's a book I'd like to recommend to you if you have not already come across it; "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Suppose to Be and Embrace Who You Are" - Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life by Brene Brown, Ph.D.

      You're reflective of who you are, where you've been and you have a sense of who and where you want to be...that's half the battle! Kudos for you!

      I found this book to be very enlightening for me in regards to how I was parented, what mistakes I may be making with my four and Brene gives insight into a different more healthy path to choose. I have found it to be very freeing and enlightening!

    2. Thank you, Toni! Michele, you are on the right track! Praying for you and your family. Toni's suggestion is a great resource.

  2. Thanks for sharing Megan! I think you have made a good point.