Single to Blended

Life has taken a turn for my son and I this year.  After 7 years of living life officially as a single mama, I married a wonderful man. He has been an answer to prayer for myself and for my son.

Many times in 'The Single Parenting Journey' blog, I referenced that it is okay to be single and parenting alone and that it can be successfully done. I still firmly believe that however I, along with many single parents, have longed for someone who could come beside me as a parent and as a partner in life. Not to fill a necessary void that was in our lives, but to add to our lives.  God has been faithful throughout my journey as a single parent and has blessed us with friends, circumstances and opportunities that only He could provide.  All of this, I keep in my heart and treasure the time that I grew and learned so very much about dependence on my Lord and Savior as I raised my son solo.

As I wrote a blog about my life adventures, thoughts and advice for others, I wondered if this day would ever come.  The day where my life story took a sharp turn.  Rather than a single parenting journey now I am in a blended family journey. My husband does not have his own children and was never married. Although it seems ideal to a single mom because baggage seems low, it too presents an interesting array of blending that is required.  Never parented, never married, always focusing on his dreams, goals, new husband is now faced with the challenge and adaptation to a son and a wife. Learning to think for 3 instead of 1.

My son is learning how to adapt to 2 parents in our home instead of 1. He's learning how to figure out this new relationship of "Stepdad" with his relationship of "Dad".  He lives with us and still visits with his biological father. How does this all play out? Feelings and emotions that he never had before are there to try and understand.  He has a daily example of a man which he never had before. A firmer spirit to discipline, chores, routine...the way a man thinks of these things.  Still having his mom who he's known his entire life there but the role shifts and I no longer am "everything" but I focus on "mom things".  It's been quite a change for my young man.  He's experiencing love and respect for a man in our house, not just his mom.  It is a great change for us and I already have a handful of stories to share. Stories that will bring a tear to your eye and stories that will bring laughter to your heart.

For me, this is quite a steamroller of emotions.  At first, the thought of marriage a second time around was frightening and I wasn't sure I had what it would take to make that commitment again. I had become quite independent and was certain that I could remain single if that is what the Lord willed me to do. Through experiences with my now husband, it became clear that he and I were meant to move forward. I've never felt surer of anything else. With this change I have had to pull back the independence a bit, realizing that we both run our household and that sharing in decisions, money and life experiences is necessary.  When I became single, I learned to be single. I have had to relearn how to be married.

My hope in continuing this blog is that I will reflect on times of single parenting while also diving into the daily needs of a blended family. I have changed the title to "The Single-Blended Parenting Journey" and hope that you will stick with me as I blog and document our journey as a family. I hope it helps you in the journey of life you are in.


1 comment:

  1. I am happy and blessed to be sharing this new chapter in my life with you!