Releasing Control

Throughout my journey as a single mother I have been told numerous times that I am strong.  I am strong for enduring my past and even stronger for placing one foot in front of the other to pursue my future. I never felt I was strong and often wondered just what about me specifically, were people seeing as strength?  What began as a question turned into a motive. I began to feel I needed to be strong in every circumstance.  To act strong even when I wasn't and to take complete control over my situations so that this strength would be noticed.

What I have found after walking in this mindset for a few years is that I am never fully in control. Even when I'd like to be, I am not. Despite my most valiant efforts, God's plan doesn't always line up with my plan.  Guess who's plan wins? Not mine.

I can tell you that fully trusting in the Lord with all of my circumstances is a bit scary for someone who likes everything planned out and streamlined.  As many of you, I like to know what my future holds and I feel safer in the promise of a future when I know just what that looks like. Sometimes God places us in circumstances that we would not have chosen for ourselves but we can rest assured of one thing.  We know who holds our future and it always ends up better than we could have imagined. Not always in our earthly definition of good, but it will for our eternal good.  Relying on God fully is what I would consider the ultimate expression of strength. Strength in Him.

                "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you 
                              and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 
                                                            Jeremiah 29:11

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