Sex and Single Parenting

Sex was created by God. Sex was created to be enjoyed. Sex is something that is a natural progression to the plan of marriage. Whether you were married before you had children or not, sex is something that we are all geared to desire.

Sex is also a very socially taboo subject. To talk about the enjoyment of this activity can be viewed as inappropriate and is expected to be completely off the radar for a single person to even discuss. The bottom line is that we are geared to want and enjoy sex. Just because we are single does not mean that this feeling turns off. Needless to say, as parents, we have enjoyed this activity at least once before. We know how we feel when we partake and we want to feel that feeling again. We want to be in someone's arms, if even just for a moment of feeling like we are wanted and loved.

Here's the problem. Many single parents are having sexual relations in or out of relationships and it is causing more damage than the good of that momentary feeling. Putting aside what the Bible speaks of, the damage that it can do emotionally, physically, and mentally are enough to give some pause to the subject and visit the reality of such decisions.
  • Inviting sex into a relationship bonds you to this person. You may not end up marrying the person you are sexually active with. By participating in such an intimate activity, you will never truly rid yourself of that person from your life if things don't work out. It also makes it much more difficult to walk away when you need to. You are connected to them.
  • You put yourself at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. The more partners you have, the higher your chances. This is a lifetime consequence.
  • According to the Bible, sex outside of marriage is clearly defined as sin. Sin separates us from God. The bottom line is that if you are having sex outside of a marital union, you are separating yourself from God and will find it more and more difficult to grow in your faith. You can't simply ignore the scriptures you don't like.
  • You have taken up the torch to raise your children according to God's direction and you have taken that task very seriously. The main thing to remember is that your children are looking to you as an example. If you are having sex outside of marriage, why shouldn't they? Be who you want your kids to be and live how you want them to live. Don't be a hypocrite, even if it is in secret.
  • An unplanned pregnancy is not going to help your situation. You are already raising children in a single parent home and despite the amazing life they may have, you realize that children need both parents. Why would you risk bringing another child into your situation?
Although my reasons were blunt, I understand the natural desire for sex. I know what it's like to feel lonely and to wish that you had a companion. Be careful with your understanding of those feelings and remember that God can help you overcome any obstacle in your walk with Him. 

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