"Misery Loves Company"

Have you heard the saying, "Misery loves company"? Unfortunately there are people in this world that love to bring others down, return a smile for a frown, and to put it simply are negative and hard to deal with.

Single parenting can be full of its own misery at times.  Carrying the burden for your child's salvation, physical well-being, education, and ultimately their entire livelihood all by yourself can lead to many moments of frustration and negativity.  Sure there are wonderful and amazing moments, and my prayer for you is that more times than not your experiences are full of greatness.  However, truth be told is that the moments of misery will come and you will be left to determine how you will touch those around you during those times.  Will you be "Debbie-Downer" or will you seek to rise above what is going on within your circumstance and put a smile on your face?  Remember the blog I wrote entitled: What Is Your Megaphone Broadcasting?  Well I think that along with how you handle your emotions and output, it is just as important how you handle the emotions of others and their input into your life.

If you find yourself around someone who is trying to bring you down, just give them a smile and remember to pray for them as they are suffering in their own misery.  Don't add to it, just simply pray that they would find relief and a better attitude.

Top 5 Ways to Deal with a Difficult or Negative Person

1) Extend grace and pray, pray, pray.  This will not only help your attitude toward them, but will also help give you grace for them when you start to feel under attack.

2) Resist the urge to judge them or their situation.  It is hard to offer someone compassion if they have already been placed into an "unforgiven" category.

3) Maintain a positive space around you and walk away when negativity starts to occur. 
 
4) Restrict emotional responses.  Answer verbal or non-verbal words with compassion.  If compassion fails at alleviating the tone, then speak with a kind but direct manner to what you need with as little emotion as possible.

5) Remember, numbers have proven that with negativity comes stress and disease.  Keep yourself healthy and concentrate on remaining positive.  Surround yourself with as many positive people as you can.  

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.  

Philippians 4:8-9

Contemplating Abortion?

Today marks the 40th Anniversary of Roe vs.Wade in which it became legal for women to have abortions.  I could easily stand on a soap box and quote biblical scripture which speaks out against the killing of unborn children, however I quite honestly do not feel comfortable "bible thumping" for lack of a better phrase in order to express my grief and sincere sorrow for the 55 million babies who have been murdered in the United States alone since the start of this everyday tragedy.  As much as my heart breaks for these unborn children, my heart breaks even more for the scars left on the women who have made this life-altering choice.  And even further than that, I grieve for those making their decisions right now of whether or not to choose life.

My heart throbs with compassion for the women who are alone and making this decision.  For the unwed mother who fears persecution for her sinful choices and feels abortion will solve her problem silently.  For the many stories of women who fear to parent alone.  

Every woman faces fears during their pregnancy regardless of the situation they find themselves in.  I happened to be married and desired my son more than anything.  I was faced with the decision to find out if my son would have down syndrome, because if he did I would need to make a choice of whether or not to have him.  I was blessed with the advice from a friend who said that she knew 2 people personally who had this test and were expecting a down-syndrome child after birth and yet their babies were born healthy.  I opted out of the test and made a decision that no matter how my child was born, he was a gift from God.  There are so many people who have disabilities and God has used them to be a blessing in amazing ways!

Let me speak to those of you who fear becoming a single parent.  There are so many lies in the world, lies directly from Satan himself that speak into the fears of a woman who is pregnant.  It is a scary thought to know that you are alone and that when you bring a child into the word, you will be on your own to be responsible in raising him or her.   I am a living testimony that even though being a single parent is difficult, it is full of rewards as well.  YOU CAN DO THIS.  You are more than capable of providing a life for this child.  There are so many options available to single parents nowadays.  There are groups you can belong to that assist each other with babysitting, parenting advice and emotional support.  There are assistance programs for finances and food. 

You also get to look into your son or daughters eyes everyday and know that you gave them the greatest gift of love you could. Life.

If you are "on the fence" with a decision of abortion or even if you have chosen to have an abortion, please reach out and hear all of the facts about this first.  I also encourage you to watch the film, October Baby.  You are never alone in a decision to choose LIFE.  For one, we at Family Talk are here to help you any way that we can. Please reach out.

October Baby: 

God's Little Reminders

Life as a single woman can be daunting to say the least.  The plumbing is leaking, the car needs repairs, the flat tire on the side of the road, suddenly you hear a ticking from your engine, and that oh so dreaded heavy object that you just can't manage to lift.

Life is full of things that men are great at taking care of and women are great at taking care of.  Hand me a kitchen full of dirt and filth, a terribly decorated home, homework to critique, dirty laundry, a meal for 30 to prepare for and I'm on it.  Put me in a car that begins ticking, a flat tire on the way to work, a tool box to make sense of and I'm a blundering mess.

I'd like to think that I have dove into projects deemed for "men" and have succeeded however to be honest, I am as woman as women come. I prefer to cook, clean, decorate, bake, and handle the care giver side of a family.  Being a single parent has thrown me into the "man role" so to speak more times than I would have liked.  I do not have the money just to call the local professional each time something I am uncomfortable with breaks or needs attention.  I am forced to face my uncomfortable side head on. 

God sure knows how to take care of us though doesn't He?  I think back to all of the times I was thrown into these "man moments" and I got through them just fine.  Does it still cause me anxiety when I hear the tick in the car or I notice the leak in the sink? Yes but without fail, I am reminded of God's grace to me.  I get through it and He provides.

About a month ago, I encountered an issue with my brakes and took it to a local shop.  Fixed for FREE.  I then bought headlights for my car since one was out and it was fixed by my dealer for FREE.   I still get that slight discomfort at the brake repair shop, the dealer, and the auto parts store, but God is always there.  Sometimes it's His amazing presence with me, or a faithful friend, or as in the case last month, a friend, my mom and my dad.  (who were visiting)  That same day I had my brakes and headlights fixed my parents also had my leaky sink fixed.  I felt so overwhelmed with that blessing!

What  loving reminders of my Father's love for me!  Even in the "man moments" which would seem futile to some, but to me are a very big deal. Thank you God, thank you parents, and thank you friends for the loving reminders.

Just A Little Resolution

With Christmas behind us and the new year already underfoot it is that time of year for resolutions.  Statistically 4 out of 5 people break their resolutions within the first week of making them.  Gives a lot of hope to those of us who have some very important goals, right?

I love the thought of resolutions and I think that even if they are broken in the first week, the goals and ideas that were thought out and desired still happened at least!  They were still contemplated, analyzed and decided upon.  That is something to celebrate!  I think a lot of the reasons that resolutions are not carried through to completion is because they are too lofty!

Every year I think I'll get more exercise, drop some pounds, be a better person, read my bible more, help more people and at the end of every year I feel disappointed that I didn't reach my goals like I thought I should.  Ever feel this way? Ever thought of why we feel this way?

Bottom line is that your dreams, goals, and ambitions are yours and only yours.  If you say, "I'll drop 20 lbs this year" and only lose 5 lbs; how do you feel?  Do you feel like you accomplished a smaller hurdle of 5 lbs or are you busy looking at the 15 that didn't come off?

Life is full of resolutions, promises, and commitments that often times are full of disappointment.  I do believe that goals are great and that big goals equal into dreams being fulfilled, however life never turns out the way we planned.  I heard the saying once, "We plan and God laughs".  Kind of a cute saying, although I doubt God laughs at the desires of our hearts, but the message is clear.  Your goal, is your goal and it may work out or it may not work out.  I think the important thing to remember is the journey towards your goal and not the end result.

Be the best that you can be and like my friend says, "Do the next right thing."

Blessings to you all and Happy New Year!