While You Were Sleeping

Your day has come to an end.  The kids are in bed and you are left with just enough energy to fall into your bed and get a good night’s rest.  This is the time when you are able to turn off everything and just relax into your own dreamland, right?  Unfortunately, as great as this idea is, it is not reality for some.   

At least for me this is when I become “Meg the security guard making sure my son sleeps safely throughout the night.”  Sounds heroic right? Not true either.  Truth is that I dread night-time.  I hate sleeping in bed alone and I hate that every sound has me wondering if all is safe within my house.  If you ask my parents, they will tell you that I’ve always been somewhat paranoid about potential danger but I remember a time when my husband was the “safe” feeling that would ease me into sleep without any problems.  I will be honest that I truly miss that feeling.

Although very strong-willed, I am not a brave woman.  Within a moment’s notice I would not hesitate to save myself or my son from danger, but the fear of that danger is very real to me.  I have been truly convicted tonight in my bible reading that my fear can be construed as a lack of trust in the Lord.  I have to trust in God to keep my son and I safe from all danger and to simply rest at night so that I can be used for his glory during waking hours.

It’s a struggle I tell ya!  Even now as I write this, I took a moment to check on my kiddo while he is sleeping.  “Yep, he’s still there AND he’s breathing…whew!”  All joking aside, I do believe that God knows my fear and yours if you struggle with this too.  We as women weren’t created to be the protectors, men were.  All the security systems, pepper spray, bats, locks, and dare I say it, guns will not keep your mind at ease.  They surely help, but God is the only one who can truly ease your mind and give you rest.